My job issues me a computer and since I teach and do some work at home like lecture prep and grading, they have issued me a laptop. Well, apparently, my laptop had gone out of warranty, so they just switched me over to a new laptop. I love it! It has taken me a couple of days to get everything fixed back the way I like it, but it is really nice! When I was first issued my laptop, they asked me if I wanted a Mac or a PC. Since the first available was a Mac and my husband is a big fan, I decided to try it. I have really loved it. It took a bit of getting used to at first, but now I always go to the left to close windows. I have been trained!
New toys are so much fun! (Especially when they don't come with a big price tag!)
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Two revelations I had today
I have been working on developing my personal prayer life. We do prayers as a family, but I am very bad about doing them by myself. So Father has assigned me to do the Jesus prayer for a minimum of five minutes a day as a start. It is amazing to me how difficult it is for me to remember to do this every day first of all! But I have been doing better recently and today I had two revelations because of it. I even had to pull over and write the second one down. (Yes, I have been doing my prayers in the car. It seems to be the time I remember to do them.)
First, I realized how praying more often makes me more conscious of my own sins. The more I spend time with God, the more I realized how separated I from Him. I know, this is elementary for some, but for me this is a revelation! I'm slow that way!
The second one I am going to transcribe from what I wrote when I pulled over in the car:
I must live in a state of "preparing for my next confession." I cannot be forgiven my sins and then just 'coast' until a week or so before I am 'supposed' to do confession again. This is what true repentance is - a constant awareness of my separation from God.
I have never gotten confession because it always seemed so forced. Little did I realize how much I really need it! I think I have always viewed it as a duty, something I did because it was required for all good Orthodox at least 4 times per year. And how awkward that is, trying to figure out what to confess during those times! It reduced the time I spent examining my own heart down to the week or weeks of fasting leading up to "doing it". ICK!
I am beginning to realize what so many of you already have figured out - I need to live in a state of preparing for confession or as I have heard so many times quoted of St. Isaac of Syria: "This life is given to you for repentance. Do not waste it on vain pursuits." He's not talking about just the fasting times. He is talking about my entire life, every day, every hour, every minute, in the very busy-ness of my life.
Realizing all this suddenly makes praying easier and more desirable. Not a chore to check off my to-do list. But my to-do list is so long sometimes that praying has to be on there in order to ensure it happens. God is loving and kind though and meets me in the five minutes I give Him.
I met God today. In five minutes.
First, I realized how praying more often makes me more conscious of my own sins. The more I spend time with God, the more I realized how separated I from Him. I know, this is elementary for some, but for me this is a revelation! I'm slow that way!
The second one I am going to transcribe from what I wrote when I pulled over in the car:
I must live in a state of "preparing for my next confession." I cannot be forgiven my sins and then just 'coast' until a week or so before I am 'supposed' to do confession again. This is what true repentance is - a constant awareness of my separation from God.
I have never gotten confession because it always seemed so forced. Little did I realize how much I really need it! I think I have always viewed it as a duty, something I did because it was required for all good Orthodox at least 4 times per year. And how awkward that is, trying to figure out what to confess during those times! It reduced the time I spent examining my own heart down to the week or weeks of fasting leading up to "doing it". ICK!
I am beginning to realize what so many of you already have figured out - I need to live in a state of preparing for confession or as I have heard so many times quoted of St. Isaac of Syria: "This life is given to you for repentance. Do not waste it on vain pursuits." He's not talking about just the fasting times. He is talking about my entire life, every day, every hour, every minute, in the very busy-ness of my life.
Realizing all this suddenly makes praying easier and more desirable. Not a chore to check off my to-do list. But my to-do list is so long sometimes that praying has to be on there in order to ensure it happens. God is loving and kind though and meets me in the five minutes I give Him.
I met God today. In five minutes.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Life is calming down
We had a big weekend - two parties at our house.
The first one on Sunday evening was a graduation party for a very long time friend who just finished his master's degree (with a 3.97 GPA!). We did a surprise party, called it pizza night which we routinely do on Sunday evenings, but his wife invited their family and all the church and a bunch of other friend too. She ended up inviting about a hundred thinking only half of them would come. But she didn't count on how beloved her husband was amongst all our friends. So we had 71 people in my house! And outside my house cause we didn't all fit inside!
Then we did something much smaller to celebrate Labor Day - just two other families. My husband has been wanting to try something he calls a 'mixed grill'. He did a smaller amount of about 5 different kinds of meats - chicken (rubbed in fresh thyme and rosemary), pork (marinated in lime and garlic), steak (marinated in sesame oil, sushi vinegar, and wasabi paste), brats (soaked in beer), and some italian sausage (he left that one alone). It was really yummy! (I turned the leftover chicken and sausage into cacciatore last night with a yellow pepper, onions, and mushrooms and a can of chopped tomatoes - again really, yummy!)
Now I am back at work and while, life is still the usually hectic-ness, it just doesn't seem as stressful. Migraine week is over. My husband worked 200+ hours in about 2 weeks getting ready for classes to start. That is now over. The big surprise party is over. Now we just have the usual day-to-day routine with school & homework, work & lesson prep, church & choir, ballet (2x per week now). Life is good! Busy, but good!
Got to go have lunch with my girls!
The first one on Sunday evening was a graduation party for a very long time friend who just finished his master's degree (with a 3.97 GPA!). We did a surprise party, called it pizza night which we routinely do on Sunday evenings, but his wife invited their family and all the church and a bunch of other friend too. She ended up inviting about a hundred thinking only half of them would come. But she didn't count on how beloved her husband was amongst all our friends. So we had 71 people in my house! And outside my house cause we didn't all fit inside!
Then we did something much smaller to celebrate Labor Day - just two other families. My husband has been wanting to try something he calls a 'mixed grill'. He did a smaller amount of about 5 different kinds of meats - chicken (rubbed in fresh thyme and rosemary), pork (marinated in lime and garlic), steak (marinated in sesame oil, sushi vinegar, and wasabi paste), brats (soaked in beer), and some italian sausage (he left that one alone). It was really yummy! (I turned the leftover chicken and sausage into cacciatore last night with a yellow pepper, onions, and mushrooms and a can of chopped tomatoes - again really, yummy!)
Now I am back at work and while, life is still the usually hectic-ness, it just doesn't seem as stressful. Migraine week is over. My husband worked 200+ hours in about 2 weeks getting ready for classes to start. That is now over. The big surprise party is over. Now we just have the usual day-to-day routine with school & homework, work & lesson prep, church & choir, ballet (2x per week now). Life is good! Busy, but good!
Got to go have lunch with my girls!
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